My life now is a far cry from what I had as a homeless kid, bouncing from couch to car to hotel room. I know what it's like to be hungry, but that's not the reason for my success. The past hardships don’t define me—it's my commitment to evolving continuously. Many people have rough starts, but you can't use that as an excuse for staying the same.
My journey to become a millionaire mom didn’t happen by accident. I was intentional, I set goals, and I dreamed really big!
Here are four things I do to live a life of intentional design and achieve my goals without fail—and I know you can do it, too.
1. Don’t be afraid of people leaving.
During my chaotic childhood, I became accustomed to people walking out frequently. As dismal as that sounds, those experiences had a profoundly empowering effect on me.
Here’s the thing: When you’re not worried about if someone is going to leave you, you can instead focus on whether you want to stay. Rather than thinking, “If I don’t do this, this person will leave,” ask yourself what makes you want this person to stay?
Success is difficult to achieve without clear priorities that prevent others from running your life. People avoid hard conversations because they are afraid the other party will react badly and exit. This is how toxic employees stay employed for so long and deteriorate a company. In my digital ad agency, I don’t spend hours debating whether an employee should be coached or let go because one thousand outcomes could come from either decision. Instead, I stay laser-focused on those creating real value in my life.
I follow the same rule for my personal life. With 20 years of marriage and two kids, it’s still important to ask myself if I want to stay in the marriage. I’m not afraid to go it alone because I control my money, my companies, and I’m not afraid to have the hard conversations. So, my husband and I take our marriage year by year.
Even though we’re committed to each other for the long haul, every year on our anniversary, we go to dinner and ask the hard questions: Why are we here? Are we happy? How did the past year go? What do we have to work on? What are our goals? Then, we work like hell for the next 12 months to make sure we like the answers. That’s how you pour the foundation of a life you love.
2. Control your own finances.
I have the opportunity to mentor female entrepreneurs regarding how to handle their finances all the time. If, tomorrow, you woke up alone, would you feel empowered to handle your finances? I’m an optimist by nature and believe in true love; I love my husband more every day, but I know that nothing is more crucial than self-sufficiency. If he cheated, died, or woke up one day and decided I wasn’t his thing anymore, my children and I would be financially secure. That gives me the confidence and peace of mind to chase my dreams. Women especially have to be in control of their own earning potential and investments and protect their wealth.
3. Be ruthless about your time.
I absolutely will not waste time — it’s the one resource I can’t earn back. We only have about 80 trips around the sun, and I believe we have a responsibility to make the most of each one. Effective time management at work ensures that I use my time efficiently so I can accomplish what I truly value: homeschooling my kids, family dinners, exercise, and self-care.
I also don’t get caught in the trap of multitasking, which kills productivity and creativity. Going through your day with purpose—that is, focusing intently on one task before moving on to the next—can be the big difference between where you are right now and a million-dollar career.
4. Make a point to connect with people in meaningful ways.
Believe it or not, some of my biggest wins in business have come from meaningful conversations with people I happen to bump into throughout my day. These days, it’s especially easy to be head down in a text conversation with people you communicate with daily and miss a million-dollar conversation with the person next to you.
I make a point to talk to everyone I encounter and try to ask them meaningful questions. This applies to executives in the airport, the grocery store checkout clerk, or the restaurant server. Being curious has led me to incredible profit opportunities and exceptional new hires. Connecting with people in ways that make them feel noticed and valuable is how you increase your network’s net worth.
These four principles are how I’ve succeeded as an entrepreneur and why I have the freedom to live life exactly how I want to live without fear of the future. I never want to stop evolving. I don’t want to look back in 10 years and realize that nothing has changed in my life except my age. I owe it to myself, my husband, and my children to endure whatever comes my way—even a pandemic—and become my best self!
I encourage you to start with one of the principles above and take steps—baby or giant—to grow and evolve into the amazing human you are meant to be.
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